If you haven’t read Part 1 yet, check here before continuing.
See below for the audio narration of the story, featuring my soothing voice;)
NB: I noticed and corrected a slight discrepancy in the story after I had recorded the narration so in case you end up catching it, do ignore please.
Remi’s facial expression bore a striking resemblance to a deer caught in headlights. She felt no different from a child who was caught hand-in-her mother’s pot, as she stood barefoot on the cold, tiled bathroom floor in the presence of her husband.
She stood with her hands behind her back, the test kit dropping straight into the dustbin under the sink. Short of words, her wide-eyed gaze continued to meet her husband’s suspicious but gentle ones, as they both stood there in silence.
Kunle, calm as a dove, took his time to survey the scene before him. He had already established that his wife was hiding something and he would take a bet that whatever it was, it was sitting behind her form, either in her hands or in the trash. It wouldn’t take him too much to spin her around and uncover what made her so jumpy. He might have been fifty-seven years old, but his strength was still very much present in his body. Fitness was a lifestyle that he religiously stuck to, and his body thanked him for it.
However, he decided that that move would not be necessary. They just needed to communicate with each other properly and moving forward, they would be able to put the whole debacle behind them. It might even be a small issue that we can easily work out, he thought. So there was no need to make a molehill out of nothing. Little did he know what was in store for them.
“Okay, what’s going on Remilekun? You’ve been acting unlike yourself for a while now. I thought it was just because you were still recovering but now I’m not so sure. Obinrin yi, you better tell me what’s going on now before I find out by myself.” While he attempted to be firm, he made sure that he was still communicating love to her with his tender gaze and touch.
As she continued to stare at him in silence, her gaze started to become watery, fast filling up with unshed tears. “Out with it ife mi,” he prompted, gently rubbing her arms up and down.
Drawing a shaky breath, she choked back a sob as she fought to express herself. How did one explain things in this kind of a sticky situation? Things were not exactly black and white; and now all she wanted to yell out was that ‘why on earth did she suddenly feel like eating a mango straight off of her husband’s hand at this wildly inconvenient time!’
Emi Mimo, please help me to properly express myself. I’m tired of standing here and looking like a dumb person; and I’m sure that Kunle’s patience is just about beginning to wear thin. I need You now.
The rapid blinking of her eyes seemed as though nothing had changed, until it started coming together in her mind. First, she turned around and reached inside the perforated trash bin, retrieving the three test sticks she had earlier dropped there. Feeling almost despondent, she held them up like a banner. “This is what I’ve been doing in here since you left for the gym.” she admitted, relieved to get the burden of keeping a secret from her husband off her chest.
Kunle stood stock-still and while continuing to maintain his trademark calm persona, he asked one very important question. “What do they say?”
A heavy sigh escaped her chapped lips as she rubbed a weathered palm across her face. “One says positive. I had just seen its result before you opened the door. The test I took before then was undisclosed; and the one I took first came out as negative, so at this point I don’t even know what I want to believe.” Her answer was no help, she knew, but there wasn’t anything she could do to change it at that moment.
“Hm, let's sit down first,” he suggested, guiding her to the king-sized mahogany bed in the spacious master bedroom.
As soon as they settled down, he resumed his line of questioning. “What does undisclosed mean?” He was doing his best to process this new turn of events as quickly as he could; so that he would be able to hold his wife’s hand and assure her that everything would always work out for their good, regardless of whatever they would have to face.
“Undisclosed means that the test was not able to ascertain whether I am pregnant or not.” As simple and to the point as her response was, it felt so much more complicated once she said it out loud, mostly because she had finally addressed the massive elephant in the room: her probable or not pregnancy.
He was silent for an extra beat as he pondered some more. “Okay. So we’ll have to get sure on what the situation really is before we can move forward, right?”
She nodded solemnly. “Yeah I was actually planning on going for a lab test so that we can know what our fate is.”
“Should I call Dr Obafemi and let him know you’re coming? Or when do you want to go?” He didn’t see any need of prolonging the suspense. The outcome of the test had the singular capacity to alter the course of their lives and upend their carefully constructed life plan, both individually and as a family unit; and in his opinion, there was no use waiting around and biting their fingernails when they could move with immediate alacrity. But of course, regardless of how he felt, he was only one half of the team, and it wasn’t his half that was potentially going to have a body altered to carry the weight of a growing foetus. Thus, he could not force Remi to go faster than her mental health would allow.
“Actually, I wanted to go to a different lab where nobody knows me. Because what if it turns out to be-” she trailed off, her lips downturned and eyes cast down. Although she did not finish her sentence, the unspoken word weighed heavily over both their hearts. He could read the overwhelming expression on her face as clear as day: shame.
“Remi, no no no. Don’t do that,” he chided gently as he grasped her face with tender palms. “Don’t do that to yourself. I know what’s going through that head of yours and I need you to stop. Quiet the noise and listen well to what I have to say. There is absolutely no reason for you to be ashamed. You hear me? No reason whatsoever. We have done nothing wrong. We did this together and share equal responsibility, okay? And whatever those results say, even if it turns out to be ‘positive’, there is no law against it. No police can arrest us and nobody has the right to chastise us, because it is not their business. Remi, woju mi,” he told her, pausing his little speech. Sniffling loudly, her downcast gaze gradually lifted up till it met his, eye-to-eye.
As Kunle looked into her eyes, the both of them glassy with unshed tears, his breath caught at the vulnerability that shone through without restraints. He prayed that the Spirit of God would minister to his wife and speedily melt away every form of fear. I’m already speaking through you Kunle. We are ministering to our beloved together. In response, all he could think was, thank you sweet Holy Spirit.
“And in as much as we can explain it away by taking responsibility for our roles, we cannot at all deny the Hand of God in our lives because He holds it all together; He’s the one that balances our equation. Ife mi, I need you to remember that no matter how this situation pans out, God is still in control and He always has a plan. Ma gbagbe o, God always has a plan. It’s not me that said it, it’s God himself that assured us… the book of Jeremiah 29 verse 11 is only one out of the long list of references that we have from the Bible.” He took in a lungful of air immediately he stopped talking. “Do you feel better now?”
She said nothing at first, only holding his gaze meaningfully as the tears rolled down her cheeks. “Ani oko mi, I am a blessed woman to have you. You know me so well, mi o tie ranti gbogbo oro to so yii. The only picture my mind could see was that of chaos and shame and mockery. That se emi ni mo ma ma gbe ikun to ga kiri at age 57? Pe nnkan esin ma leleyi, oyun mii leyin gende omobinrin meta! But yes, to answer your question, I feel much better. At least better enough to go and find out the real result with my eyes. In fact, help me to put a call through to Dr Obafemi, and let me go and bath so I can soon start going.”
“To be fair, ikun e ti ga tele so I don’t think you should be too worried about that part,” he teased, fully aware that his statement had the propensity to get him in trouble with his wife.
A sassy hiss escaped from her lips. “It’s not your fault o. Is it not EniObanke and Oluwabukunmi’s CS operation that made my stomach to become big?” she reminded him, shoving him lightly. “Abi you’ve forgotten ni?”
“And now, you may or may not be going down the same path, see God o,” he teased, snickering.
She gasped in indignation. Her husband’s knack for making jokes about serious issues, even while still fresh was an ability she still couldn’t completely fathom after thirty years of marriage. “Kunle, lenu e! Okunrin yii,” she muttered, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Too early?” he asked, his eyes dancing with laughter. She said nothing, only giving him a classic Yoruba woman stink-eye. He put his hands up in a gesture of mock surrender. “Oya sorry. I was just pulling your legs. You too, stop forming and smile for me jare,” he coaxed, fondling her till he got the reaction he wanted: a grudging smile.
Remi couldn’t deny that she felt lighter in both her body and soul, thanks to their conversation. Her husband always knew how to push the right buttons; and now the prospect of having a baby at her post-childbearing age no longer seemed as daunting. She thanked God once again that she didn’t settle when it came to her choice of life partner.
“But I thought you said you don’t want to go to our family hospital. What changed?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I just realised that if it’s positive, I won’t be able to hide it for long anyways. And like you’ve rightly said, it’s nobody’s business but ours.”
“Would you look at that?” he asked himself. “That’s the spirit! You can go and have your bath then. I’ll make the call.”
Before rising to her feet, she planted a lingering kiss on his temple. “You’re the best in the world, ife mi. Thank you for always knowing what to say. I love you.”
“Queen Remi of my heart! Your boy remains loyal,” he declared, instinctively tapping her perfectly rotund rump as she passed by him. He admired her retreating form with a dopey expression on his face. Yup, he would choose her over and over again. When he finally regained himself, he yelled out his daily confession. “I love you so much.”
God willing, which He most definitely was, all would be well.
MO’S Behind-The-Scene Note
Okayyyy…part 2 has finally landed! How did you like it? Did it get you all up in the feels, like it did me? Love can be so beautiful to watch and I pray everyone reading this gets the opportunity to experience wholesome, unabashed, all-encompassing love in all of its glory.
And just because I want you guys to stew a little longer (insert evil laugh muahaha), we still don’t know if Remi and Kunle are pregnant. Funnily enough, I’m not sure I know either. Or maybe I do ;) What’s certain is that you’re the one that doesn’t know for sure. Fun fact: I didn’t map out the direction that this part took but I’m pretty content with how its moving along.
At the rate we’re going, it’s safe to say we’re expecting a third part and maybe even a fourth, who knows. But don’t leave me just yet guys, there’s much in store that’s still awaiting us. There’s something in Remi’s story for all of us, regardless of age, status, gender or whatever creed. I know that before it wraps up, it will be used as a channel to speak to you. All I ask is one thing; when it does, make sure you’re loud about it so others can be blessed too. Now moving on to where the tea is really being spilled:
The process behind this post can be summed up in three words: apathy. imposter-syndrome (basically chaos). determination. At first, the apathy was borne out the fear of creating. Why try? Will people see? Will they appreciate it? Will they think it’s good enough? So I didn’t want to try at all, rather than try and be vulnerable, or try and all by myself, find the flaws that make it less than good enough. And then again, was it ever about people or about me? Will I see? Will I recognise what has come out of me as deserving? Deserving of being labelled as good, deserving of being lauded as what it is: art. Will I appreciate the explosive combination of sheer talent and admirable skill that goes into each piece? I think the tough crowd that seems un-impressable is actually me, but not me as Mofeoluwa Ogundipe the writer. Instead it’s a shade of me (not entirely me, but some teeny-tiny part) and namely every insecurity balled up into one voice. Do you gerrit?
Phew! Okay, being vulnerable requires a lottt of prodding and introspection. A bit uncomfortable but absolutely necessary.
So yeah, I struggled. But as evidenced by what you’re reading right now, I won. With the help of sweet HS (for future reference: HS- Holy Spirit), I put my foot down and I pushed back. Here are some lessons I learnt in this encounter:
1. Affirmations have and will always be an OG tool to refocus your thought process on what’s positive and good. By speaking out your truth, you are disrupting the chain of toxic thoughts and replacing them with what really counts. So when the insecurities push at your mind, push back harder!
2. The fact that I second-guessed myself does not mean that I’m less than up to the task.
3. At every turn, I have to decide whose words I want to believe. God’s or the devil’s? If I don’t choose, my mind will choose for me, and it won’t necessarily be the favourable choice.
4. The journey to discovery is often long and winding, at times seeming unending. But the beautiful part is that you don’t have to wait until the end of the journey to collect your reward. For each day that passes, you get a reward; often in the form of little chips of information, and sometimes in huge chunks. Your great reward at the end of the journey is spread out as the little pockets you amassed over time. That in itself reveals more than one trophy ever could. Each new day brings a new discovery, and it’s something to be grateful. An important discovery I made today is that I don’t have to be afraid to say Mofeoluwa can. I have all I need to can in Christ.
5. I’m not the imposter here, the devil is. Excellence is my nature and I cannot go against my nature. I’ll say that as many times until it sinks in and roots down firmly.
I think here is a good place to stop. This is turning out to be quite the huge cuppa tea.
I hope something here resonates within you enough to leave a lasting impression. If you’re new here, please subscribe and tell somebody about Gbogbo Ero. I love love meeting new people. If you want to speak to me, just write me back.
I’ll have to leave you now, some agbalumo fruits await me in the sitting-room.
Signing out from my favourite spot on my bed,
Warm hugs and chocolate kizeez,
Mofeoluwa
Where is part 3? 😭😭
Gosh! Gosh! Gosh! Lol! Really wish you could see my face, see me smiling like kini, lol😂😭😂 I loved ittt! The way the yourba was sweet in your mouth tho. Oppression was knocking softly. Lol! P.S Kunle is romantic😌😊😂😂
#3 here I come! As always, you are doing great Mo!